Fatherhood and Minimized Masculinity

 Hey everyone! another week has gone by and that means it's time for another blog post. This week we focused more on the role of fathers and finances in family life. This is an interesting topic in these times, since masculinity in and of itself has had a bit of a negative view in society recently. The idea that masculinity is "toxic" and unnecessary makes it hard for the idea of dedicated fatherhood as something important to keep traction in today's world.

Earlier in the semester we talked about how having healthy marriages and families are unnatural, or are something that you have to work for. Our professor compared this to the animal kingdom and other mammals. For most mammals, the males are there to provide protection and to reproduce with the females. Child rearing is left entirely up to the mothers for most mammals. I think society's view of the male position in the family has started to mirror this line of thought: that males aren't very useful to the family unit and should just stay out of the way.

As a male who WANTS to have a family someday and hopes to have an important role in helping my future family, this societal view is rather disheartening. I personally think that the role of the father is an important one, and a good father can do a great deal of good for his family that might otherwise not be able to be achieved. I was blessed to have a good father and good grandfathers. I grew up seeing how my grandpa's lessons affected my mom and how she felt about her dad for the better. I also saw how my dad would work very hard to help provide for our family's needs and would try and teach me the value of hard work as well as time together as a family (most of those times he would organize). 

I also understand that having a good father is not that common today. Unfortunately, I think society has strayed towards the "natural" way of things, which is far from our "unnatural" ideal that I think we all crave in our own families. I think far too many men have likely forgotten this higher level of responsibility of fatherhood, and I think is society is bending to this idea by minimizing the focus on the positive effect fathers can have on their families. Instead we hear many more negative comments on fathers in media today. 

I think part of the reason we hear more about "toxic masculinity" today is actually partly due to a negative feedback loop caused by a lack of good father figures. Most of what is labeled "toxic" about masculinity can actually be good things (and they normally are) when applied in correct and wholesome ways: the ability to lead, the ability to focus on important tasks, the ability to protect etc. When these are used incorrectly, they may appear as oppression, violence, or other negative traits society seems to label men with. A good father helps his sons direct these traits for good, while a bad father or lack of a father can encourage negative manifestations of these traits. That's just me though. What are your thoughts on fathers and masculinity? Do you think they are important or do you think they aren't necessary? Let me know in the comments!

When we have a generation of males that never developed their masculine traits productively, they can go on to do the same with their children, which continues the cycle. I think we are more likely to find a solution to this "toxic masculinity" problem if we try and help men to develop their natural tendencies in productive ways.